Be kind to yourself

An “Ask the Therapist” question on the PsychCentral website entitled Too Hard on Myself really hit home. I can really relate to the part of the question that says “I always say ‘Always’, ‘Never’, ‘Can’t’, and more when dealing with social situations and anything possibly emotionally benefiting me or my relationships.”

I am so fearful of going out of the house and meeting new people, even when it’s just the clerk at the grocery store. I don’t know what to say to new people, and am fearful that they’ll see through my façade and recognize that I’m “crazy.”

I’m also terribly hard on myself about actions, or more accurately inactions in my daily life. My house is never clean enough, I don’t accomplish enough during the day (although an accomplishment is sometimes just getting out of bed), and when I bake bread and it doesn’t come out perfect I believe I am a failure.

I really like the part of the response that says “It is important to be realistic. If your judgment is impaired, then it will lead to incorrect conclusions and mistakes. This may lead to many problems in life.” In addition she also states “Ultimately the goal is to have a realistic opinion of yourself and your abilities. It is not healthy to overstate or understate your abilities. If you’re having difficulty recognizing your abilities then counseling is recommended. It is a problem that you can overcome.”

I tell others to be kind and forgiving to themselves but I can’t seem to apply that to myself, and I truly need to take it to heart.

2 thoughts on “Be kind to yourself

  1. It's easier to say to others, I think, than to follow our own advice. On the other hand, reminding others to be kind to themselves can also serve as a reminder to ourselves. Most of the time, “always, can't, and never” stem from depression. Even at baseline, it still a pattern of thinking we need to work on overcoming.

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