KAPOW!

Pull the trigger and *kablooie* another bipolar episode is shot out. I never really thought of the word ‘trigger’ and how it’s definition actually relates to starting a manic or depressive episode. These past few weeks I’ve had so many triggers pulled on me that I’m riddled with holes from the roller-coaster ride.

kaboom! Physical Therapist tells me I can’t do anything until my back is better – no baking, cooking, cleaning, laundry – basically what I do everyday. Depression ensues when this triggers memories of the abuse I received from my ex when I had a ruptured disk and consequent back surgery 16 years ago.

kablam! Chiropractor tells me the exact opposite of the PT, and I’m off and running, triggered into a manic episode, wanting to make up for lost time. I need to finish my ever-increasing to-do list…today.

boom! November is blogging month and WEGO and BlogHer both have daily prompts, so my brain is triggered into thinking “I must do this every day.”

But wait a minute, put on the safety, I’ve learned to recognize the beginnings of these episodes and have been able to cut them off at the pass.

I am now loved, cherished, and respected. I am not expected to be superwoman and do things that are bad for my body.

I don’t have to accomplish everything on my list in one day. I can break my list down into manageable projects, or even eliminate some of the unimportant items – delegate!

I’m not really interested in the prompts provided for blogging month, nor do I have the time and inclination needed to blog every day.

I can even take a damn nap if I want to!

The triggers will always be there, but I will always have my tools to fall back on to keep them from shooting my life out of control. Since I have been learning about integrative medicine, my life has finally become manageable.

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