With the help of two little pills, learning it’s ok to ask for help, increasing my activities, and Weight Watchers, I’ve dragged myself out of my depression.
I’m guessing the Trileptal has a lot to do with it, helping me to jump-start the other areas of my life that had died from the deep depression I’ve been in since October. The anniversary of my mother’s death is coming up, but I’m certain I can get through that just fine.
I’ve learned quite a bit about myself over the past couple weeks. Accepting that I’m not a failure if I ask for help was the most important, as well as learning that having bipolar disorder doesn’t have to control my life. It’s a disease, like diabetes or heart disease, and I can take care of myself by taking the right meds, eating right and increasing my activity in a fun way.
“Exercise” is one of the most unpleasant words in the English language (at least in my opinion). Learning to just increase my activity a little at a time, and in a fun way, is much more pleasant. I skip sideways and walk backwards around the house; and I took my iPod grocery shopping and danced up and down the aisles. I received a lot of stares, grins and giggles; but after all the horrific things I’ve been through, I’ve earned the right to be silly in public. Making people smile, whether they’re laughing at me or with me, helps me feel good. I’m also increasing my time on the elliptical by just one minute each day. After my surgery, I could barely get through five minutes (way before, I was doing an hour!). I’m up to 10-15 minutes, and I’m certain I’ll get up to that hour before long. Listening to podcasts or audiobooks helps the time fly by.
So I’ve learned if I keep my endorphins up by moving, ask for help when I need it, and take good care of my body (including taking my meds on time), this awful thing called bipolar disorder can be beat into remission (I highlighted that because I’m fully aware that there’s no such thing as “recovery” from this disease. I’ll probably still have some bad days, but I’ll get through them).