Stand by

test patternHey there, didja miss me? Life became a bit out of control with an increase in my antidepressant. The change threw me into a wicked agitated mixed episode, which in my opinion are the absolute worst. Being depressed and manic at the same time sucks. My kind of mania is generally agitated, not the “fun” kind (no disrespect intended I know no manic episode is really fun, but you know what I mean). I get extraordinarily bitchy, and even almost got in a fight in a movie theater once (I was in my 40s, for crying out loud!). Anyway, I happened to have a Psych appointment on my absolute worse day, so he saw it in action, upped my mood stabilizer, so hopefully it will be smooth sailing for a while.

I’ve worked out a daily schedule, I now have my DBT books and a couple support groups on-line, plus I’m seeing my therapist every two weeks during the next few months which are historically tough for me. Then there’s the kitten…Next door to my husband’s office is a pet shop that hosts our local no-kill shelter adoption kitties. I wandered over there last week while I was waiting for him to be ready to go to lunch (we’re down to one car right now), and saw a kitten that is the exact clone of my old cat who I had to have put down a few years ago at the age of 14 because of renal failure. He had “forced” me to adopt him, and then helped me get through some of the worst years of my life right after I escaped from my domestic violence situation. So back to last week – I picked up this little guy, and he licked my nose, laid his head on my chest and started to purr loudly. But I put him back. I told my husband about him, and he said “Do you want him?” I knew he was just saying it because he loves me, he didn’t really want another cat. There are already three old cats that have been living here long before me, plus a two-year-old he allowed me to bring in right after my cat died. I told him thank you, but no. Today my husband surprised me with adopting the kitten. So here I sit with this warm furry little body, fast asleep on my lap.

Anyway, hopefully in a couple days I’ll be back to my usual posting, and in the meantime I’m also hoping I don’t have any readers who gave up on me while I hibernated for a while. Once again I have to thank Tammy for giving me a nudge.

4 thoughts on “Stand by

  1. Totally understand your mixed state. And agitation. And hibernation. And how important warm little animals are warm loving hearts are in dealing with mental illness.
    Sounds like you’ve got a plan in place. For now, just cuddle.

    Liked by 1 person

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