The tears make my pillow soggy, “don’t wake up, can’t do this anymore, tired of trying, imposter, not who they think I am.” It’s a conundrum – I don’t want to wake up in the morning, yet I do…and I keep trying day after day. Why?
You out there, you are the ones who’s voices I hear in the morning. Your voices are louder than the ones I hear at night.
Bob runs to me when I come back from a walk, sits on my feet, “Where have you been? I missed you.”
Bob chirps through the door in the morning, “Wake up, we’re hungry.”
My granddaughter runs in the door yelling “Bubbe! Bubbe! Bubbe!”
Greg holds me, “I’ve got you.”
My daughter sends me a silly, loving sticker on Messenger.
It’s Thursday, laundry day.
The sweetness of the cantaloupe makes my mouth happy.
And somewhere deep inside me is something I don’t understand that keeps nudging me along.