A mental health website asked the question “How do you keep going when despair takes over?” I wanted to participate in the discussion, but I couldn’t think of an answer. I’ve been in self-destruct mode for quite a while, yet every morning I wake up and think “OK, try again, just one more day.”
Then last night, while playing Trivial Pursuit with my husband, I looked up and saw the answer. He was looking at me, and in his eyes I saw a reflection of a tiny spark of light. It finally dawned on me that he sees beyond the miasma of depression, to that small flame that still flickers deep within me. That must be what he holds on to, what helps him to make it one more day with me. And because I can see it in his eyes, even when I think it’s gone out, I can keep going…one more day.