bargaining as a coping tool

Mark Twain and John T Sellers
George G. Rockwood [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
The last couple weeks have been scary bad.  I hate that waiting period after starting a new medication, I do some heavy bargaining during that time, pleading with myself to hang on for just one more day, one more hour, one more minute.

Then Monday I woke up feeling good, which is a another type of scary feeling for me. Good feelings are often fleeting, misleading, or mania. By afternoon I was sliding back down, so the bargaining begins again. Tuesday was more of the same, but this time I actually accomplished a few things and left for an appointment. Again, by afternoon I was sliding down but this time I was with my daughter, who pointed out that it was late for lunch and maybe I was just hungry (smart woman). I was so frustrated; I had several more stops to make, one of which was groceries. So once again I start bargaining.

The pharmacy is important, if you do that you can have a candy bar. If you go to the grocery store, you can buy just what you need for dinner tonight, then you can go home and try again tomorrow.

That worked well, I made it home but started berating myself for not getting everything done. Once again, I pull out the bargaining tools in addition to forcing myself to recognize my accomplishments.

That was great! You did important things before you left, you did a couple more important things, and what you didn’t do can wait. You can do a couple crossword puzzles (I love crosswords and sudoku) if you make dinner when you’re done,.

Phew! I did it! I made through a whole day, although today the whole process starts over again until I can believe that I’ll be stable for awhile (and try not to worry about when it will end).

What do coping skills do you use?

9 thoughts on “bargaining as a coping tool

  1. the only strategy I have is persuading myself that if I can get the next job/task at work/or whatever needs doing, I can treat myself to something totally bad for me… you know candy nicotine or caffine. it is a pretty crappy motivational system, but it kind of gets me through each hour. Love the positivity you have though, I may have to try it myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh I do that as well. Especially when I have to take my mother-in-law to the doctor. She’s a very difficult person to be with. There’s always a candy bar, cookie, or slice of cake after.

      Like

  2. I bargain with the adult kid. I know he needs me to function, so I do it all for him. Most days I sit rocking on the edge of the bed willing myself to get moving. So I now get up with 2.5 hours spare, so I can get moving at my ow pace before leaving to go to work. Work is therapy for me, once in there I forget my own issues and can concentrate on other issues. I tell myself it’s ok to have a mess at home, so long as I go to work. I suppose i compatmentalise. Xx thanks for writing that. Xx

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